weekdays (flooded)

nobody knew, except everybody knew, and they expected this.
I didn't. no. how would I? well how.
it's all just how it looks. one direction. two directions. a million directions.
let it fade. let it shift. you woke up too late.
your dreams won't let go of you.
or is it me, holding? stalling. crawling...
what to blame? absolutely zero, I told him. the song. look it up.
but I've forgotten.
and maybe
have I--
have I been
perhaps
I mean I hate to admit this, or even imagine it
I can't have really been
not much anyway
the chills. the chilly sunken still-monday-morning vibe, all crunched like crumpled paper like my outlook like this thick and dampening inward spiral.
I can't have been lying to myself about this, can I?
until now... until the other day...
I mean
at first it was spectacular.